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Mardi Gras Morning...

and that's one of my favorite Carnival tunes, particularly when Kermit Ruffins and Da Rebirth do it.

Every New Orleanian has a Mardi Gras Strategy. For the wealthy, it's all about the Rex parade. For the black middle class, the strategy is participating in or watching Zulu. For college students, it's about going downtown, getting drunk and crazy in the French Quarter.

Our family's Mardi Gras Strategy has evolved as my boys have grown older. Originally, our plan involved going out on St. Charles Avenue, somewhere around where my father-in-law's accounting firm would go. The firm would rent an apartment on or near the parade route, so we'd have a place with food, and most importantly, a bathroom. The bathroom is the most essential component of a Strategy, because it factors in how much beer one can consume. We'd go out very early on Carnival Day and put up a ladder with a wooden seat on top that the boys could sit in, above the fray, to enjoy the parades.

Then my f-i-l passed, and the boys got older, we began to leave the ladder and seat behind. That made us more mobile. A couple of buddies of mine started riding in the Zulu parade, so we'd go closer to downtown to catch that parade as well. When my oldest was in high school, he was in NJROTC, and marched in several parades. By Carnival Day, he wanted to see some of New Orleans, then hang out with his friends. Little brother is now a band kid, so he's got essentially the same attitude as big brother (who is now at uni in Atlanta; we call him and tell him we miss him).

So, this year's Mardi Gras Strategy involved both New Orleans and Metairie. The idea was to see the best parade of the day, Rex, then head back out to the 'burbs, so Kevin could catch several of his friends in parades out here. We headed out to Napoleon Avenue at 7am this morning, and by 7:20am, we were sitting out on the neutral ground of one of the loveliest boulevards in the city. While my wife and son walked around, I kicked back with an anthology of alternate history stories (e-book, reading on my PDA). We were a block down from Our Lady of Lourdes Church, waiting for Rex.

Rex is the King of Carnival. The official name of the organization that puts on the parade is The School of Design. Their membership is a list of the wealthiest and most influential folks in town. Actually, that's the wealthiest and most influential white folks in town, I should say.

Cops always lead off Carnival parades. They're important, for crowd control, gun control, etc. There's a DHS unit that is part of the cop part of the parade that I find amusing, because I've never really thought of a Carnival parade as a turrist threat.

The Golden Band From Tiger Land. For those of you not from Louisiana, that's the Louisiana State University Marching Band. If you've never experienced American Football as played in the SouthEastern Conference of the NCAA, you can't fully appreciate why the premier parade of Carnival would choose this band as their lead unit. LSU's band is why we have our current Mardi Gras Strategy as a family. My eighth grade trombone player worships this band. I don't know if he'll go to LSU for uni, but for right now, this is the Coolest Band On The Planet.

Rex, King of Carnival. This year, he's John Edward Koerner, III. Koerner married into a wealthy Uptown family, but he also made a few bucks on his own--his family IS Barq's root beer. Koerner sold the consummate New Orleans cold drink to Coca-Cola, and has used the money for a lot of philanthropic purposes, particularly since the storm. It's kind of an interesting twist that Koerner is a graduate of the A. B. Freeman School of Business at Tulane University and a HUGE Tulane fan, because the Freeman family started the Louisiana Coca-Cola Bottling Company.

The Ross Volunteers of Texas A&M University. My oldest considered being an Aggie, but decided to go to become a Ramblin' Wreck from Georgia Tech (and a hell of an engineer!).

The Hebrus River. The theme of the Rex parade this year is "Royal Rivers."

His Majesty's Streetcar. The Knights of Babylon have the best streetcar float, a Carnival replica of a Stephenson Bobtail streetcar, but Rex's streetcar is still pretty cool.

Marines! LSU may have led off Rex, but most of the marching units in the parade are military bands. In addition to Marine Reserve Forces Band New Orleans, there were three US Army bands. Military bands are a true treat, because these men and women are not only professional musicians, they're professional soldiers. Depending on the command, bandsmen/women are also combat troops.

One of the most enjoyable moments of Rex today came further up the route. As the MRFBNO made their way down St. Charles Ave., there were a number of points where they had to stop while waiting for the Zulu Social Aid and Pleasure Club to go in front of Rex. One of the teevee stations caught the band at a point where several of the local Marines went into an impromptu number on the street. You could see the "WTF?" looks on some of the other musicians' faces when about six of their colleagues formed a Dixieland combo in the street and did a couple of numbers. Just after that, the parade was ready to move forward again, and the band re-formed as the well-disciplined unit they are to move down the route.

Three "riding Lieutenants" of the Rex Organization. There are several groups of these riders, one each in purple, green, and gold, the colors of Carnival.

Once Rex passed by, we said good-bye to friends along the route and quickly headed back to Metairie. Kevin was able to see some of his friends riding in "truck" parades in the 'burbs. The floats you see in these photos are typical of our regular Carnival parades. On Mardi Gras, however, groups of families parade on floats that are pulled by 18-wheeler cabs, hence the term "truck parades." These folks make a day of it, assembling at their starting points early in the morning and riding the parade routes. Behind Rex are two truck parades, Elks Orleanians and the Krewe of Crescent City. In Metairie, the Krewe of Argus is followed by two of its own truck parades, Elks Jefferson and the Krewe of Jefferson.

And now, after grilling a couple of nice steaks (it's Carne Vale, after all), I'm enjoying a nice rose' and watching Tweety make an ass of himself.)

Toujours Mardi Gras!

The Krewe d'Etat's members consist of many of the families who make up the "old-line" Carnival krewes of the Mistick Krewe of Comus and the Knights of Momus. Neither of those krewes have paraded since 1991, when the New Orleans City Council passed an ordinance requiring Carnival organizations to open up their membership rolls to inspection, so the city could validate that they didn't discriminate. In spite of a successful civil rights lawsuit against the city, the parades have not returned to the streets. Several krewes formed by younger members of these families began parading in the 1990s, d'Etat among them.

Political satire is the main feature of this parade, as well as keeping alive some old traditions. Before photojournalism, the newspapers would print illustrations of a parade's floats in the next day's paper. In keeping with that custom, d'Etat passes out flyers that show the float drawings.

d'Etat doesn't have a king, they have a Dictator:

Here's the Title Float:

Here's one that's sure to warm the hearts of many a Democrat:

The title is "Left Wing Chicken" The flyer's description of the float:

Guess Who's measuring the drapes at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue? Here's a hint: think plump thighs, no breasts and a cackle only a rooster can love. That's right, it's the left-wing special herself, Hillary Clinton.

It goes on from there, as you might expect. The Bush float was entitled "Blame Duck Gumbo" and featured Karl Rove as a pink elephant, seen in the current pResident's drunken fantasies.

I didn't get a good shot of Vitter's float, but here's the drawing:

The title is "Whore D'Oevures" and here's the blurb:

Passing important federal legislation can sure work up an appetite, especially if you like spicy appetizers. Fortunately for Senator David "Family Values" Vitter, the D. C. Madam delivers her own unique brand of whore d'oevures. Just phone in your order and -- voila! -- a "side dish" appears within minutes. Ah, so many delectable, tasty treats...and so little time! But beware, Diaper Dave, these tit-bits come with a warning: they are known to cause massive political heartburn -- and the new delivery boy, Larry Flynt, has been known to spill the contents of even the Madam's best customers' trays!

The other floats skewered Mayor Nagin, the Louisiana Recovery Authority, Governors Blanco and Jindal, the cast of "The View," and the various crooks from the Markey-Marc Morial administration, as well as a few others.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Carnival parades in New Orleans have been around since 1857. In the western 'burb of Metairie, it took an additional hundred years for them to arrive. Tonight, the Krewe of Caesar rolled through Metairie.

Metairie parades began in 1958, when the Krewe of Zeus rolled down Metairie Road. As the suburbs grew in the 1960s, so did the area's Carnival celebration, and more krewes formed and paraded. By the late 1970s, the Jeffeson Parish Sheriff's Office had concerns about the original parade route on Metairie Road. This particular street is a heavily-traveled, two-lane road whose winding path corresponds to the old Bayou Metairie waterway. When a parade stretched out over its length, as Carnival parades do, it gave first responders of all types fits. The parish began to nudge the krewes to move a bit north, to the six-lane Veterans Blvd., and now that street is the standard suburban parade route.

I don't care for Carnival parades in Metairie. They don't have the soul and feel of a parade in the city. The parish made a minor change in the route this year, so now the parades pass literally three blocks from my house. But I've managed to pass on my dislike for Metairie parades to my son to the point where, when I suggested today that he could have a "parade party" on Lundi Gras here at the house, he had an absolute fit, because that would mean missing the parades Uptown that evening.

Not everyone shares my dislike for suburban Carnival, however, which is why the principal of my son's high school asked the band if they would march in a Metairie parade, namely Caesar. The pitch from the principal was recruiting; they're a Catholic school, and most of the students post-storm are from Metairie. So, Brother Martin High School's band marched in Metairie tonight, the first time in over 20 years.

One thing about Caesar, though--they're big-time in terms of the money they spend on floats, costumes, and throws. The krewe was formed in 1979, by businessmen from Metairie, several of whom were in the Kewe of Zeus, the premier suburban parade at the time. The founders of Caesar committed to putting on a top-level parade, and they deliver on that promise annually. Here's one of their "super floats" passing by:

The boys marched and played well tonight, even though they were behind one of their rival schools, Archbishop Rummel High, in the marching order of the parade. It's an understandable situation, however, since Rummel is a Metairie school and BMHS were slumming. :-)

Tomorrow is another suburban parade for the boys, the Krewe of Alla, on the west bank of the Mississippi. The name is an abbreviation for "Algiers, Louisiana," not some redneck slight at Islam, in case anybody wonders. Alla is a day parade in a very different neighborhood, so it's a totally different experience that I'll describe tomorrow.

Music is such an important component of everything we do in New Orleans. Whether it's listening to WWOZ (hat tip to the inestimible Mr. Pierce up there in Newton, MA, for his regular 'OZ shoutouts in Dr. Alterman's blog) at the coffee shop, WTUL in the car, and whatever on your portable player of choice, we're as much about music as we are about food. Even on a cold Sunday evening in January (tonight), Offbeat has 36 live music listings.

For all that music permeates our lives here, Carnival is the Big Deal. Getting up early and getting out on the street on Mardi Gras is the High Church of New Orleans music. The boom boxes and car stereos start it off, leading into ad hoc groups walking down the parade route. They're followed by the brass bands which accompany the marching clubs like Pete Fountain's Half-Fast Walking Club, the Corner, Zig-Zag, Lyons, and Delachaise Marching Clubs. After each club passes by, the sound reverts to stereo systems of all kinds while everyone patiently sits and waits as the inevitible breakdowns which take place during the Zulu parade work themselves out.

The marching bands take the stage that is the parade route when Zulu and Rex roll. The experience ranges from military to junior high bands, but every one of them is part of the celebration. Once His Majesty's Calliope (the last float of Rex) has passed, the truck parades roll through most of the afternoon. The music goes back to stereos, but this time accompanied with the blaring horns of 18-wheelers as the drivers of the floats blast their way through the crowds.

So, here are some picks for your playlist. There are numerous ways to acquire these songs, byt the one I recommend most is Louisiana Music Factory (www.louisianamusicfactory.com). I'm not sure how much of this music can be had on iTunes; if you're more experienced with legal music downloads than I am, please comment.

Handa Wanda, by the Wild Magnolias. The tune's been around for longer, but the most common recording was made in 1970. This song speaks to me. It's what Mardi Gras is all about, at least for this white boy.

Mardi Gras in New Orleans by Professor Longhair. Many folks would put Fess at the top of the list, and I wouldn't argue. That's like trying to get in a discussion about whether vi is better than emacs, or other deep religious concepts.

Big Chief. Take your pick from Fess', Dr. John's, or Dirty Dozen's or Rebirth's versions. My most-listened to version at the moment is that of the Brother Martin High School Marching Band's, since my 13-year old trombone player has been practicing a lot.

South Rampart Street Parade. This march is best heard either live, played by a Marine band, or by listening to an Al Hirt recording.

Bourbon Street Parade. Satchmo's version is oh-so-good because of his vocals, but the Preservation Hall Jazz Band's is also great.

Stoned, Drunk, and Naked, by Anders Osborne. I figure this tune was written as a shout-out to the Krewe of Dreux, but even if it wasn't, it sums up the day's experience.

Iko, Iko, by the Dixie Cups. Accept no substitutes, even if their last name is Neville.

That's Enough Of That Stuff, by Marcia Ball. This is her shout-out to Fess, and she's got the skills to make it happen.

All On Mardi Gras Day. Dr. John's is probably the most popular version.

Brother John, by the Wild Tchoupitoulas. Again, Accept No Substitutes.

Take Me To The Mardi Gras, by Simon and Garfunkel. OK, they're...well, they're Simon and Garfunkel, but it's not a bad tune. If you don't like the idea, try Bob James' version.

If Ever I Cease To Love. The theme song of Rex, King of Carnival. A must.

Ooh Poo Pah Doo. If you have The Big Ol' Box Of New Orleans, you've got Troy Andrews' version, but Cyril Neville does this one great as well.

Junco Partner, by Professor Longhair. Another tune that a lot of folks have done. When you get a tune like this or Big Chief, it's no sin to mix in all the versions into the day's playlist.

I'm The Big Chief, by Anders Osborne and Monk Boudreaux. From their "Bury the Hatchet" CD, it's not Fess' tune, but one of their own.

Meet The Boyz On The Battlefront. Another well-covered tune, but I like the Osborne/Boudreaux version. Theirs brings out the calypso beat of the song well.

Mama Roux, by Dr. John. How can anybody be so white...and so funky?

Do Whatcha Wanna. My favorite version(s) are various ones with Kermit Ruffins and the ReBirth, but others do it well also.

New Suit, by the Wild Magnolias. Classic Mardi Gras Indian music.

Mardi Gras Mambo, by the Hawkettes. Art Neville's first band.

Carnival Time, by Al Johnson. It's not Mardi Gras until you play "Carnival Time."

Smoke it Right, another Osborne/Boudreaux song, because peace pipes are important on Mardi Gras Day.

Of course, you need a lot more music than just this list to get you through the day, so just mix in a few CDs by The Meters, Louis Armstrong, Dr. John, the ReBirth and the Dirty Dozen, along with any of your other favorite New Orleans artists and you're ready for parades!

they're playing some injun music right now, as I sit at The Bean Gallery on Carrollton.

I have a personal belief that, like king cake, Mardi Gras music should only be played between Twelfth Night and Mardi Gras.

But still, this is getting me psyched up a week early. :-)